Sunday, April 15, 2007

Of Echoes and Responses

When people say that they are “Practicing Catholics,” I’ve taken the phrase to mean in general that they observe the sacraments and the high holy days, and in particular, that they go to mass at least every Sunday, whether it be actual or anticipated. While the ‘event’ sacraments like baptism and confirmation are determinative of whether you are a Catholic or not, it’s regularly celebrating the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist which determines whether or not you are ‘practicing’.


Ironically then, as central as mass is to my religion, if I were dead set on converting a non-Catholic friend to my faith, I doubt mass would be my main selling point.


Don’t get me wrong: Sunday mass is an important part of my life. It is one hour where I at least try to focus my mind on God, and whether or not I’m successful, that effort in and of itself helps maintain my rapport with God, just like conversation maintains bonds with other people, even if you sometimes stray off topic. Taking the time out for mass gives me the opportunity to do so, and parts of the ceremony such as the readings ensure that I have no shortage of subjects to reflect upon.


Aside from the readings though, I tend to go through much of the rest of the ceremony on automatic mode. I think I stand on solid ground when I say I don’t think I’m alone in this, and undoubtedly I’m not alone in feeling a certain amount of guilt. The words and forms recited during the mass are the results I’d think, of much reflection, deliberation and prayer, with their own special histories and unique meanings. As can be best exemplified by the Responsorial Psalm, the words in the mass are intended to resonate with us, to, precisely, call forth a response… but the problem is that the words I hear and speak during mass are not the results of my own reflection, deliberation and prayer. I am for the most part unaware of their special history and intended meaning. The result? What one receives from the faithful is not a personal response, but the echo of words of others placed in their mouths.


This may be the reason why some of the most devout Catholics I know are hardly more attentive during mass than your typical diverted teen-ager, the former being as absorbed in their own prayers and devotionals as the latter are in their phones and Ipods. It is not that these devout faithful no longer value the mass or its meaning, it is just that they feel they adhere more to the sacrament in repeating word and prayers of their own choice, at their own pace, individually.


Doesn’t that in itself defeat the very idea of a communal celebration, which the mass is supposed to be? That depends, I suppose, in how you view “community”. Mass has always been something more than a solitary celebration with me, since I invariably go with my family or friends. In our shared professions of faith and joint worship, I see the value of celebration as a community, such as it is.


The same however cannot be said the larger you expand the scope of the word ‘community’. In this day and age where the choice of venue for the mass is determined largely by one’s own schedule and one’s preference in priests, one usually attends mass amidst groups of strangers rather than friends, or even acquaintances. Holding hands during the Our Father and sheepish smiles of ‘peace’ aside, its hard to say that I gain anything spiritual from undergoing the rituals of the mass with a group of strangers with whom I share my religion.


Note in that last sentence I use ‘religion’ as opposed to ‘faith’ and, perhaps, that is why I continue to value the mass as a source of communal worship, even if I fail to feel any connection with most of my fellow mass-goers. That I share a religion with an entire church, with billions of people all over the world and all throughout history… that is simply a matter of fact, and not a source of jubilation. Many of us were baptized into Catholicism before we even knew how to spell GOD, much less know what our relationship to Him should be, and that I was initiated in such a manner may account for my holding of religion to be a tad impersonal. Faith in the meantime, is as personal as it gets. Joining my family and friends in the Holy Eucharist, knowing who they are and knowing that their own faiths, while different, are so similar and so resonant with my own… that is more than a fact. That is a blessing. That is what calls for my response.


No comments: